Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Life as a plant-man...

Life has been strange over these last few years (weeks, to be honest about it.) I've been watching every calorie that I take in and it's driving me absolutely mad. I never realized that I subsisted on approximately 4.7 billion calories per day in my normal mode.

On the brighter side? I've lost about 10 lbs already. I weighed myself and came in at 178 the other morning, down from 190 when I started. That's a good thing, right?

Then I look at the other side of the dieting effects. After living on dill pickles (0 calories), mustard greens (5 calories per serving for the "off" brands) and sour kraut (10 calories per serving for the "off" brands) my skin now has a light green tint and I smell slightly pickled- even straight out of the shower. I honestly believe that I could produce my own nutrients with enough sunlight due to the chlorophyl that I've taken in to this point.

Not that the green skin tint bothers me so much, except for the fact that my hands are still a brilliant white due to washing dishes. It seems that even as a plant I have chores.

The only other thing that I find strange about all of this is the fact that I have a strong craving for Miracle Grow diluted in water instead of coffee now. I can only hope that my tap-root grows a bit during this process ;)

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