Sunday, March 21, 2010


I think everyone should have hobbies.

Two mornings ago I was grabbing a bite to eat before I left for a night shift at work. Keep in mind that I time my departures just so in order to be to work at the appropriate time. I placed a bowl of (excellent) chili that Amanda had cooked the day before into the microwave and set the time. I then began to fill my thermos with coffee when all of a sudden a great gray ball came flying into the kitchen through one door, leaped onto the counter (knocking down three containers of animal treats), flew six feet from there and landed spread-eagled on the kitchen table, slid across the table, hit the window, landed on the floor and leaped through the other door.

Not unusual except that there was an open bag of chips, two diet cokes with one sip missing, a candle, and several dozen individually wrapped candies on the table.

Until the cat cleared off everything but the two cokes. Against the laws of physics, the cokes remained lying on the table gently emptying their contents across the top of it as they spun in slow and lazy circles in order to cover maximum surface area with soda. Not too bad until except that the table is an older style with minute cracks between the boards that make up the top of it.

So I spent the next 20 minutes cleaning off the table, clearing the mess of candies and coke-soaked chips from the floor, and mopping it all up.

I wish it had been an off day. I would have spent the remainder of my time hunting the cat down and shaving him.... with a dull pocket knife.

As it is, he's given me an idea for my next hobby- "Cat in a Bottle". A bottle with a very small opening. One piece at a time.